It's always perception..I never thought in all my years of being unreasonable, emotinally fraught, hopelessly caught in the tangle of relationships that this would be the feeder main for all those innumerable emotions. I always thought i was complex. Well, i still think so..No denying it..ACJ was the beginning where i realised that however you look at things or want to look at them, there is always a difference and will always be because my perception couldn't be picked off anyone..It could only be my own however hard i tried to be or look at something. Its like my friend says..that the way we vegetarians look at plant life as food and not living creatures, non-vegetarians don't think of chicken, pigs, deer, and almost all other living creatures other than themselves, as food (i think the raven has been spared or has China found a 'delectable' solution to that too??)
One of those wonderfully juvenile perceptions is when you are under the extremely gullible impression that you are the sole saviour of a person's life and the main force behind the vicious alteration of their decisions (which we think are pathetic). So, we very vociferously and to great effect, advocate our opinion about their life, their choices, their thinking....Maybe at one point, we seriously doubt whether they can even think for themselves because we automatically assume that stature in their lives where they hand that authority to us on a platter..And we more than gleefully invite them into the cavern that we have caved for them..Well, in the outstanding moments of basking in the honour of our own skewed sense of brilliance, we don't anticipate the workings of the other person's mind which we have conveniently pushed to the background..Thankfully, it's voice refuses to be quelled by the tirade of our unfailing sense of self-importance and there comes a point when there is a violent need to sever a bond built on trust and mutual thoughtfulness. Since that premise has ceased to exist, maybe the bond should too or has it really become a bond??
While this arises more out of a fiercely blind sense of possessiveness, there is another twisted side to the complete and unbridled possession of another's life. It springs from a deep sense of disdain for another's set of values, principles, their way of living, working, speaking, thinking..Quite subtly, perception finds it own niche here as my perception of someone's life and their mannerisms may generate deep dislike while for that person, it may merely be just another facet to them or a casual daily. But for some others, it may strongly intrude in their frame of thinking as something thoroughly scandalous. This I understood when a close friend swore while he called people which, according to me, was a serious lapse. Then I relooked at my perspective and grudgingly admitted that while it was shocking to me and disgusted me every bit, the other person was just either following a habit acquired through years of hearing it from the company he kept.
But at the end of it all, it just makes me deeply ponder as to what really is acceptable and what cannot be tolerated. Is it a line I draw only for myself from my own experiences and perceive my side of the table or something that I could impose on others for a cause, for a positive change? I still don't know for, where there are limits, there is thought and a need to understand and be, and where there are none, well everything stays as just another perception...
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